Breaking Down Crazy
by LyrisaLove
Summary: Charged with murder at a disremembered trail, Lydia finds herself locked in arkham asylum with a month of her memory lost somewhere in the back of her mind. Little does she know, the handsome, tall and blue eyed doctor Crane, supposedly in charge of her therapy is a self-absorbed, psychotic lunatic working on a deadly toxin driving those who don't die over the brink of insanity.


**Chapter 1: Therapy Begins**

She'd been there a week. That was all it took. Seven days of quiet dreading until finally, someone decided to open her cell. But even in her vulnerable state of mind she didn't know what she was afraid of. Perhaps it was merely because she knew that she shouldn't be there. She knew she wasn't guilty… She knew she wasn't insane.

Of course, most rational people think they're crazy even when they're not… But it's the crazy ones who think they're sane when in fact they're actually the wildest of them all. The chestnut-haired girl knew that too. The one thing she didn't know was most likely the most important detail of all.

Her memory was nothing but an unnerving void with no facts nor traces. She didn't know what happened last month. She simply just couldn't remember… She couldn't remember anything. It felt as though a page had been ripped out her diary, the diary being her mind. Who knows? Perhaps she was insane.

For the last week she'd been wondering why. Why she'd forgotten the very reason of her sentence. Perhaps she had amnesia? Highly doubtful, she'd concluded, knowing all too well that this had never happened before. Perhaps she simply fell over and bashed her head? No bruise, no cut though. It could be however, that she was drugged? But how on earth does someone remove a month of memory with just a drug? A question in which the answer probably isn't one she'd want to know.

At the door, she saw a young looking nurse, perhaps a little older than herself. Hidden behind her simple square glasses, were her eyes, matching the sandy blond colour of her tied up hair. It was clear that the woman was nervous, practically shaking with the clipboard in her hands. One glance and Lydia knew all too well that she wasn't used to the 'dangerous patients' of the asylum. A minute of silence followed when the intruder found the courage to speak.

"It's time for your therapy, Mrs. Roden." The nurse stated, her voice impassive despite the look on her heart shaped face, unprofessionally showing the patient how tense she actually was.

Lydia didn't move, her pale avocado eyes looking up at the celling. "Why now?" She demanded, her voice hoarse from lack of use. It had been a while since she'd last spoken, she figured the last time must have been when she'd been judged guilty at her trial.

She remembered most of that day. It hadn't exactly been the best day of her life… Understatement. She recalled only too well just how everyone had stared at her with pitiless eyes, how she'd pleaded her case and was charged guilty when she knew she was innocent. Her crime? Now that was the problem… She couldn't remember…

"You've been in isolation for a week due to your breakdown in the court room. You should be relieved, some patients don't calm down until at least a two weeks to a month. However, Dr. Crane has decided that you're ready for your daily sessions. Now, Please, Mrs. Roden. You don't want to keep him waiting." The blond woman urged her.

Lydia glowered at her. "I don't want to go."

"Mrs. Roden-"

"No! My name is Lydia. Okay? And I don't need your stupid therapy! I didn't do anything wrong! I-I'm not… I'm not crazy!"

The nurse sighed, almost sadly and Lydia instantly couldn't help feel sorry for yelling at her. "I'm afraid you'll have to discuss this with the doctor. Now, please Mrs.… Lydia. Don't make this harder on yourself. I don't want to have to call someone in to calm you down."

She groaned in defeat, walking over to the nurse slowly. "Fine…"

"See, that wasn't so hard now was it?"

As they walked down the hall towards Dr. Crane's office, Lydia listened patiently to every single sound, noticing every annoying delicate click of the nurse's heels, the low buzzing of electricity from the lights above her and every last grunt, shriek and moan from the truly insane locked away in their own padded cells. She then heard the beat of her heart starting at a steady pace, getting faster and louder as though trying to block out the noise until suddenly a slow triple knock on a wooden door bought her out of her daze.

"Come in." A male voice drawled from inside. The nurse slid her card into the machine and just as the door clicked open, they entered. Sitting behind a mahogany desk, his hair a dark shade of brown unlike her auburn waves. His pale blue, yet somehow murky eyes pierced into her lime green ones, as though he was trying to feed off of her very soul.

She couldn't deny his good looks but something about him seemed a little too sinister for her liking. The dim lighting in his office only seemed to add to the eerie effect. "Ah, Lydia! I was beginning to think you weren't coming. Any trouble, Amy?" He asked, turning towards the nurse, who glanced at Lydia with a sympathetic look.

She shook her head, much to Lydia's shock and appreciation. "None at all."

Dr. Crane nodded coolly while he asked her to leave the room. Lydia frowned, somewhat troubled by being alone with him. Lydia stayed still while he purposely took his time to pull out a file before casually leaning over his desk. A few awkward minutes of silence passed when he finally spoke once again.

"Sorry about that. You can sit down, if you like." Her fists clenched tensely as she made her way over to the indigo leather armchair in front of him. She sat down, almost hesitantly, her eyes never once leaving his as she practically sank into the cold fabric, part of her actually wishing she would.

"Do you know why you're here?" He asked. "I presume Amy told you?"

She nodded, "Y-yes… Uh… Therapy." She whispered nervously, yet she couldn't put her finger on it yet.

"That's right." He opened a small folder on his desk, shuffling the papers inside before placing three pictures face down before her. "Don't look at them yet." He stated as she went to turn one over.

"What are they?" She asked interestedly.

He chuckled. "You'll find out in a minute. But first I wanted to ask you a couple of questions. Let's start off with something easy… Were you born here? In the city I mean?"

She nodded. "Yeah. I-I live- I m-mean I used to live near the university... I worked there."

He raised an eyebrow at that. "Seems like we both have something in common." He muttered. "But, you're awfully young to be a teacher." He noticed. "How old are you, exactly?"

Lydia tilted her head in confusion. "I'm eighteen in two months… B-but I wasn't a teacher… I-I worked at the school library. W-wait… Y-you were a teacher there?" She didn't mean to sound disbelieving but the look on her face must've amused him for he chuckled softly.

"I was. But as you can see, it clearly wasn't the right job for me." He grinned. "Now, my next question may be a little more-"

She cut him off, stating the obvious. If she made this session about him, perhaps it'd be easier to avoid his questions… The one thing she was afraid of was if he'd ask her why she did whatever it was that she did. But the scariest part would be knowing what the 'thing' was. "I take it you taught psychology?" She asked.

"Indeed. In fact… I specialized in the study of phobias." He paused for a moment, as though he wanted to add something. That in itself unsettled her even more. Was he hiding something from her? "Anyway, Mrs. Roden. This session is about you. Now, as I was saying. This next question may be a little more triggering."

Oh no. She thought, here it is. "I-I thought you said we'd start off easy?"

He nodded. "We are… It's a simple question… All you have to do is tell me the truth."

"Wh-what is it?" She asked cautiously. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

"Do you remember why you were put in isolation?"

Lydia frowned despondently. "I-it was a mistake. I-I didn't do anything wrong… I-I swear. I don't belong here." She felt tears swell up in her eyes. "I don't remember."

To her disgust and horror, she saw him smirk at her susceptible state. As though he knew something she didn't. "Do you remember what happened to your family?" He asked, ignoring her sniffles completely.

Her eyes widened at that. "M-my family? W-what about them?"

It must've been clear to him that she had no idea what he was talking about. Little did she know, that's exactly how he'd planned it. "You really don't remember?"

"R-remember what?" She pressed desperately hoping that her family was okay and this was just some sick way of getting into her head.

His grin widened slightly. "They're dead." He deadpanned.

"Y-you're lying." She whimpered. "They're not. They can't be."

He raised an eyebrow, gesturing at the photos he laid out before her. She slowly turned them over, now clearly seeing all three pictures. One of her mother, who's blood was running down all over her neck while her throat had visibly been split open. Another of her father whose head it seemed had been cut clean off, the dark red stains on the carpet causing another heart breaking sob.

However, it was the last picture she saw that hurt her the most. Her toddler sister, only four years old… staring back at her with lifeless amber eyes, the bruises on her fragile neck forced Lydia to choke back a sob. "Wh-why are you showing me this?"

Dr. Crane shrugged. "You accused me of lying, remember?" He retorted. "Now, tell me… How do you feel about this?"

Her eyes narrowed. "How do you think I feel? They're all dead… I didn't have anyone else… I-I barely even had friends!"

"Then, do tell… Mrs. Roden… Why did you kill them?" He demanded. "Of course, we've discussed this before, but it seems you've somehow 'misplaced' your memories. Which, if you don't mind me saying… Is slightly fascinating to me. We'll definitely have to look into that, now won't we?"

She glared at him angrily. "I-I didn't do it! I love my family… I loved them!" She bawled, her anger winning over her sadness.

"Of course you did." He snickered mockingly. "But I'm afraid I couldn't just let them live… And killing them was the perfect excuse to bring you in. The evidence that you'd somehow gone insane and murdered them all was spot on."

"What the hell are you?" She howled.

"Don't you remember how you watched as I slit your mother's throat?"

He stood up, walking towards her trembling form. Lydia stood too, trying to put as much distance between him and her as possible. "Why?"

"Don't you remember how I forced your prints on the axe after I cut off your father's head?" There was no distance between them now, she was trapped. His hands traced circles around her collar bone, leading towards her neck before grabbing it roughly, only just allowing her to breathe. "Surely you recall your sweet little sister gasping for air as I crushed her little throat? No? Pity."

"Why?" Lydia repeated, her heart pounding harder than ever as though it was trying to break her ribs and jump out of her skin for good.

"Why? Why what? Why do I want you here?" He guessed, "Well, it's simple, really. Your father didn't pay his debts. I thought I made it clear to him, you know. But I guess some people don't realize they're being threatened until it's too late."

Her stomach churned. "What are you…? What are you talking about?"

"Your father!" He growled. "He isn't- or rather wasn't the man you thought he was." He laughed. "No… As a matter of fact, he was a very bad cop."

Lydia wanted to call him a liar, but she feared what he'd show her to prove he wasn't. So she said nothing. "Aren't you curious? Hm? No? Well, I'll tell you anyway… One night, your father was off duty, walking home from work when bang!" He yelled the last word, causing her to flinch. "Out of nowhere, he sees a man screaming in the alley. Then he sees him."

"Who?"

"Ah-ah. No spoilers." He whispered darkly against the shell of her ear. "He sees 'him' and pulls out his gun. But my 'friend' wouldn't have that… Bang again! But apparently your father wasn't as stupid as the other man. He saw the gas before it reached him. He dodged it! My friend was impressed and that doesn't happen often, trust me."

"Who are you tal-?"

"Shh!" He placed a finger on her lips. "Let me finish! He offered your daddy a deal. He said he could live on one tiny little condition… Put the screaming man out of his misery. He didn't hesitate as he walked up to the man, his gun aiming right at his head… Scare- I mean my friend thought he was going to shoot him. But see, this is where daddy Roden fucks up." Lydia winced again as his grip tightened around her throat. "BANG!" He yelled.

"He shot you?"

"Me?" Dr. Crane laughed. "No. He shot Scarecrow! Right in the leg. And it hurt us both. We watched him run home, followed him despite the blood gushing out of our leg. We watched him for a while, acting normal as though nothing had happened. You know, after a month it was as though the 'incident' never happened. But, you see, Lydia… Scarecrow doesn't like it when debts aren't paid. We simply had to kill him."

"B-but you had me blamed for my family's death… W-why didn't you kill me too?" Lydia wondered, as he released her throat.

This made him laugh. "Sit down." He ordered, guiding her back to the leather chair and pushing her down before sitting on the edge of his desk in front of her. "When Scarecrow broke into your house, you were all too surprised to run when you saw me. Your mother stood no chance as I tore out her throat in front of all of you. You know, back then I planned to kill you and your sister too. But you ran away with her, hiding in some closet."

Lydia choked back a sob, wondering yet again how on earth she'd forgotten any of this. "Then, I chased your father into the same room. Then, that's where he ruined my plan once again, by pulling out his gun. Fortunately, I had an axe! One quick swing and blood everywhere. Then little baby Roden starts crying and all I had to do was open the door. There you were, holding on to her ever so tightly. All I had to do was whack you against the wall and you were out cold. You're a weak little thing, aren't you?" He derided, watching her shake with tears. "Of course I didn't want you to miss the show. So I dragged you into the living room, where your mother's lifeless body lay on the ground, blood oozing all over the carpet. I had the baby in my hands when you woke. Just one long squeeze and she was dead. You tried to stop me, but as I said… You're weak."

"No." Lydia glared at him through glassy eyes.

He raised an eyebrow. "No?"

"No." She repeated. "I won't let you get away with this."

He shrugged, knowing all too well that she had no power anymore. Anything she says from now on will only ever be held against her. "Do you want to know what happened next?" He asked, smirking wider than ever before.

Part of her did, but she'd already heard enough. "No."

Her answer clearly didn't matter. "I was impressed at how brave you were. I mean, it was clear that you were afraid. Even now, I can see it in your eyes. You're terrified. But that's not my point. You're braver than most patients here."

"I don't understand… What is your point?" She snapped.

"Remember when I told you about how I used specialize in phobias?" He asked.

She nodded wearily. "Y-yeah?"

"I love it when they pay attention." He slurred, earning himself a hateful scowl from Lily. "Anyway, the study of fear still intrigues me… See, after years of research, I've managed to create a certain medicine. Or should I say toxin. The gas I used on the screaming man… Well he was a sort of 'test subject' of mine. From what I've learnt… There is nothing to fear but fear itself." He explained.

"Where are you going with this?" Lydia demanded.

He chuckled. "When I saw you fight for your sister's life. I knew I had to brake that bravery."

She glared at him angrily. "All my father did was shoot you in the leg!" She shouted, her anger boiling over. "You're acting as though he… As though…" She trailed off.

"What?" He smiled that menacing smile. "As though he what, Lydia?"

"As though he murdered your entire family." She whispered quietly.

He laughed at her comment. "If he'd murdered my family I probably would've killed him for not doing it sooner. Not that it matters, anyway. Their deaths were slow."

She gasped, stunned at how cold hearted he actually was. She never would've guessed that he'd murdered his own family. Let alone hers… "Y-you killed them?"

He nodded. "Indeed. But as I said before… This session isn't about me, Lydia. It's about you. It's about your family and how everyone thinks that you killed them in cold blood. It's about how I'm going to break you down into a blubbering mess and by then, everyone will think of you as the murdering psychotic little teenage bitch while you're locked away rocking in a corner and believe me... I'll be able to do whatever the hell I want with you… We'll be spending a lot more time together."

"Why don't you just… Kill me?" She whimpered.

He scoffed. "That'd be too easy-!"

"I didn't do anything!" She repeated. "You killed my family, wasn't that enough?!"

To her shock, he slapped her hard across the face. "I've worked here a while, and I've done some very nasty things. Some of the nurses know about it. Amy doesn't… She's new. But soon she'll figure it out like the rest of them."

"Then wh-why haven't they said anything?" Lydia wondered aloud. "If word got out, you'd be in prison!"

He grinned maliciously. "Because all those nasty things I do… I do it to the patients. Either no one cares, or they're just afraid that the same thing will happen to them. That's why there aren't cameras here anymore. Because no one wants to know what happens to these… freaks. You're gonna end up just like them, you know. Even if I do get fired… You'll still be locked in here till you die. You may be sane now, but give it a year or two and you'll be shrieking like the rest of them. Unless of course… You come home with me." The way his voice went from dangerous to seductive in seconds frightened her slightly.

"That'll never happen." She cringed in disgust at the very idea.

He shrugged. "No? What a shame. And here I thought we were getting along."

"You're insane." She stated. "Maybe you're the one who should be locked away rocking in some corner… Maybe my dad should've shot you between the eyes when he had the chance, rid the world of another psychotic douche bag."

His eyes widened at that. "That's not very nice is it, now?" He stood up from his desk and crouched down before her, trapping her to the chair. "Luckily for you, our session is almost over. I guess I'll just have to wait till tomorrow for you punishment…" He threatened.

"Punishment?" She repeated, her tone full of disbelief and loathing.

He chuckled. "We have a few ideas up our sleeve… And I must admit… I'm definitely looking forward to it."

Her eyes widened in shock. "Wh-what are you going to do to me?" She whispered.

He grinned just as a subtle knock on his door caught their ears. "Many things." He whispered before kissing her forehead. "Come in!" He called as he sat back down on his desk.

Amy entered the room the moment she heard his voice. "Dr. Crane, I'm afraid I'm going to have to take Mrs. Roden upstairs soon. Dr. Arkham said she can join the canteen now. If she's not up in ten minutes she won't get any food until tonight."

Crane had told Lydia that the nurse was new here; maybe she wasn't afraid of him like the others. She didn't know that the charming man had a darker side to his dark side… A side that she was lucky not to have seen yet. "Very well." He nodded, giving Amy a small smile. "I'll see you first thing tomorrow, Lydia."

She gave him an almost panicked look before she hurriedly stepped outside with Amy, who gently closed the door behind them. "So, how was it?" She asked as he led her upstairs.

A certain twist in her stomach caused Lydia to cringe slightly. "I-it was… Informative?"

"Oh? How so?"

"I remember what happened… Why I'm here."


End file.
